The South Korean President is a Typical President
The declaration of martial law recently by President Yoon of South Korea illustrates how Presidents of faraway lands are still just Presidents.
Modern South Korea is mainly now known to the world as a radiating center of a kind of eccentric Asian culture primarily delivered in the form of K-pop and K-dramas. The rise in popularity of this Korean phenomenon seems to me to stem not from some set of truly artistic characteristics unique to the traditional culture of Korea, but rather from a vaguely perverse form of presentation of the already-familiar typical extreme banality of Western popular culture. It seems to me that its draw comes not from a true departure in content from the depraved Western superficiality of modern times, but rather from an alien-seeming face-lift, an unusual repackaging, if you will, of the usual popular trash with which the average simpleton is supremely comfortable.
Instead of a conventionally attractive female such as Taylor Swift performing a melodic ritual on stage, often you have several near-clones of some kind of effeminate, makeup-layered, post-masculine, statistically average-looking faces of sexual ambiguity on top of presumably male torsos and limbs performing essentially the same kind of ritual. It is some sort of Far East “transgender” display without explicit “transgenderism” and attacks the senses in a similarly novel way. (The extreme clashing of the senses from such a ritual may be apt to cause seizures, but thankfully in the United States, by the enactment of the Americans with Disabilities Act, our wise parasites have clearly “saved” us from such a calamity.)
However, beneath this skin-deep novelty of the senses is the usual safe and unoffensive drab of popular Western music intended to attract the mass of culture-less morons. The K-pop machine of South Korea has been perfected to industrial standards of interchangeable parts, producing pop stars with reliable profit margins accompanied by mass-marketability and minimal expenditure on the complementary factors of production.
It is no surprise then, that a country so conditioned to produce, consume, and radiate such banality would also partake in the same Democratic1 rituals that an inhabitant of any Western Democratic nation is accustomed to, and this takes me to the recent executive event that occurred in the country of BTS (the so-called “Bulletproof Boys”).
I would like to point out that indeed, like many of you, I do not follow South Korean politics at all. Even though I am Korean by birth and retain much of my sentiments of attachment to the country of my childhood, I know very little of the politics of it. However, no doubt, the recent sudden declaration of martial law by President Yoon Suk Yeol on Dec. 3rd, 2024, around 10:20 PM, local time, has brought the world’s attention to South Korea, the Asian country that probably most closely mimics typical Western countries in its form of mass coercion, robbery, and theft commonly known collectively as “government.” This mimicry is made clear in the rhetoric in the announcement of martial law, which is typical of a Democratic despot, and is further evidenced by the fact that virtually no Western government has denounced the move.
Here are some excerpts2 of the televised announcement by the South Korean President translated into bureaucratic Democratic English, which I will further translate into more truthful words of everyday English for your edification.
“Dear respected citizens, as president, I appeal to you with a heart full of sorrow.”
Dear lowly subjects, as President, I feign sadness in order to not seem like a despot.
“The National Assembly cut all major budgets for key essential functions of the state,…The state administration is paralyzed, and the sighs of our citizens are deepening.”
The National Assembly will not do as I say. I’m mad, and I’m sure everyone agrees with me.
“This is clearly an act of inciting internal rebellion by trampling the constitutional order of the free Republic of Korea and disrupting legitimate state institutions established by the Constitution and law.”
I really want to arrest these people, but the Constitution and law are getting in the way.
“Now, our National Assembly has become a den of criminals, paralyzing the nation's judicial and administrative systems through legislative dictatorship and planning for the overthrow of our liberal democratic system.”
I hate the National Assembly because they’re trying to limit my power by using the Democratic system.
“The National Assembly, which should be the foundation of liberal democracy, has become a monster trying to destroy it.”
The National Assembly, which should just do what I tell them to, are bad people who hate Democracy.
“My fellow citizens, I declare martial law to protect the Republic of Korea from the threats of North Korean communist forces, to immediately eradicate the unscrupulous pro-Pyongyang antistate forces that pillage the freedom and happiness of our people and to protect free constitutional order.”
My tax cattle, I suspend your freedom, happiness, and the constitutional order to increase my power against the people I don’t like, who by the way, are obviously pro-North communists who hate freedom, happiness, and the constitutional order.
“Through this emergency martial law, I will rebuild and protect the free Republic of Korea, which is falling into ruin.”
Through this destruction of your freedom, I will fortify my rule over the Republic of Korea, which keeps not doing what I want.
“For this, I will certainly eradicate such antistate forces and the culprits of the country's ruin who have committed evil acts up until now.”
I’m going to have the people I hate jailed for doing things I don’t like up until now.
“It’s an inevitable measure to guarantee the people's freedom, safety and national sustainability against the actions of antistate forces seeking to overthrow the system.”
I want to do this so that people will just do as I tell them to.
“The declaration of martial law will cause some inconveniences for good citizens who believe in and follow the constitutional values of free people, but we will focus on minimizing such inconveniences.”
You will not like having your freedoms taken away, but since you’re good, obedient tax cattle, you should just accept it and get used it as we continue taking your freedoms away.
“I will eliminate antistate forces and normalize the country as soon as possible. Such a measure is inevitable for the permanence of a free Republic of Korea and there is no change in Korea’s foreign policy stance of fulfilling its responsibilities and contributions to the international community.”
I will imprison the people I hate as quickly as possible. I need to do this so my rule isn’t challenged, and I will continue to take your tax money and give it to various foreign governments as I see fit.
“As president, I sincerely appeal to the people. I will dedicate my life to protecting the free Republic of Korea. Please trust in me.”
As President, I sincerely want to rule the people. I will absolutely continue robbing and stealing from the subjects of the Republic of Korea. Please trust in me.
“Thank you.”
Fuck you.
Here, I take “Democratic” to mean “pertaining to Democracy,” rather than “of the Democratic Party.”